my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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