She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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