Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize