if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
