its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm both gender and math confused
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
