STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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