I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
