I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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