i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
