Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
