it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
