i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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