I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
