You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
