no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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