Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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