just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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