So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i will never coherently bang her
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
