I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
