Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
