You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
