you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
