I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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