Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
