We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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