kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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