My sheets look like a crime scene.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
