is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
