I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
thus making me awesome and them whores
How's work?
Spinning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
