Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
third nipple confirmed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
