You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
