I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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