I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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