hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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