Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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