We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
