i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
