I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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