Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I smell stomach acid.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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