Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
