Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
