If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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