At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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