There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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