i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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