"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
