Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
