I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
