saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
