let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
